Week Four Story- The Young Bull and Elder Duck
The Young Bull and Elder Duck
There was once a young bull, and he
went by the name of Messi. No one was ever quite sure if that was his actual
given name, but those who knew him thought it fit perfectly. Wherever this
young bull walked, destruction followed. Never knowing how to, or caring to
walk softly, Messi’s hooves would trample all over the earth, destroying the
crops and flowers. Never paying mind to his surroundings, he would throw his
big head around, and his horns would strip all the tress of their fruits and
flowers. The villagers knew that if Messi was coming their way, that they
needed to move out of his way quickly. While many have tried to say something
to the young bull, most were too scared of being trampled before they could say
anything to them. Finally one day, Elder Duck had had enough. He stepped into
the path of Messi, who stopped short, fairly surprised to see someone much
smaller than him try to challenge him. Elder Duck demanded that Messi be more
mindful when he treads, or there would be consequences. The young bull snorted
in Elder Duck’s face and retorted, “and how are you going to make sure of
that?” and stomped away. Elder Duck, expecting this response from the young
bull, quickly devised a plan. He gathered all of the neighbors, who too were
sick of Messi’s antics. They dug a hole in the middle of the path that Messi
usually takes, deep enough for his legs to sink into. They filled the hole with
sticky mud, and covered it with the natural dirt of the road. For someone who
was not aware of the hole, could never be able to tell it was there. The
following day, Messi came tearing down his usual path. He passed Elder Duck and
exclaimed, “Are you here to remind me to walk mindfully?” scoffing, the young
bull began to step away, and sure enough, he fell right into the trap. His legs
began to sink immediately, until they were fully submerged. Unable to move,
Messi cried out “what has happened to me! What have you done to me Duck?” Elder
Duck smiled softly at the young bull, and explained, “If thou shall not walk
mindfully, thou shall not walk at all”
Those Who Leave a Mess
in Their Path, Shall Expect a Roadblock in Their Future
(This photo has little relation to the story in terms of characters, but it looks a though the main character is causing a ruckus)
Author's Note: For this story, I drew the moral of the story from something I experienced a few days ago, and therefore wrote the entire story from scratch. While there are dozens of Aesop's Fables, there might be one out there that this story resembles, but I have not discovered it yet, nor did I intend to re-write a version of an existing one. I did of course use animals similar to those that are common in the fables, and attempted to follow the style of writing that is fables.
Hi Adriana,
ReplyDeleteIt is great that you write a story bases on Aesop's Fables from your personal experience. Aesop's Fables is a great source when it comes to stories about the lesson of morality. The story is indeed clever and I really like the sentence at the end. I love the way you name your character as well! It is no fancy name, but when he is called the Elder Duck, I immediately know that he is wise and full of life experiences. Your words and sentences flow really well and everything keeps me engaged. I am wondering if it would be easier to through the story if it is spaced out in paragraphs? Because sometimes, the dialogues from each character being altogether in one paragraph is a bit confusing. Overall, you did a great job in writing this story and sticking to the original writing, you use animals as your characters (because I definitely cannot do that because I find it difficult to characters like that).
Hi Adriana!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story! I'm very impressed that you gained this level of inspiration for this story yourself. You really have a talent for taking your own experiences and turning them into a story with a message in a very eloquent way that keeps a reader engaged. This story reminded me at first on the You Tube video of a giraffe living the 5 stages of grief! Also I will be sure to not to run over anyone with my bike today, thanks to this story.
Hey Adriana
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I really enjoyed your story. I like that you created something original rather than taking one of Aesop's Fables and just modifying it. I also really liked that you included your own words of wisdom at the end that truly resonated the meaning of your story, much like Aesop's Fables. Keep on creating original work, since you are so good at it!