Feedback Thoughts

We have been told our whole lives, whether from our parents, teachers, coaches, peers, etc. that constructive criticism is how one can grow from a situation. They say to take the advice as a chance to get better. What they don't tell you, however, is how that criticism can make you feel. I am not sure if there are even words to put with that rush of emotions you get when being criticized, but I can try my hardest from a physiological standpoint. Our stomach might hurt a little, as if someone is squeezing you from the inside. We can feel our insides flare up, as if a fire has started. Our face might flush a little, as our internal temperature literally starts to rise. If you're like me, your throat might get tight, as the first attempt to ward off frustrated tears. We can compare these feelings to those of embarrassment, frustration, anger, or even sadness. Depending on who you are, this feeling might only be temporary. You mope around for an hour, then you get on with your day. Or you might be a worry-willy, and your mind stays occupied for hours because of it, and it might even carry into the next day. I have always been fascinated with the 'why?' Why do we let such instances get so under our skin? I have noticed that it is those closest to us, when giving criticism, is when it bothers us the most. You might receive a scholarship rejection letter from the president of the university himself, and maybe only be discouraged for a day. You might be told by your best friend whom you see everyday, that you look like you have gained weight, and you might spend the next week looking at yourself in every mirror you walk by. Why? Because we feel as we have been socially rejected. Whether we realize it or not, everything we do, everyday, is in hopes that we meet our own social quota. When someone inside of your own quota criticizes you, you feel as though you are failing out. The article I read, Why Rejection Hurts, does an amazing job explaining the social and self-esteem consequences of criticism. We work everyday at our image, or the version of ourselves that we want everyone else to see, and so to receive questioning on this, can make us question ourselves. It is a vicious cycle, and learning how to receive criticism, and deciding whether you are going to let it bother you or not, is a critical component of growing up, and eventually, becoming wiser. No matter who you are, no matter where you are, you will experience this at some point in your life. It is solely YOUR choice whether you allow it to rattle your cage, or handle it with grace. When they say "don't sweat the small stuff", they mean it. Seriously. We have to pick our chins back up, and take the next challenge in stride.

One Step Forward, or Two Steps Back?